Great lovers Versus Great couples
Would you rather be with someone that you are madly in love with (Your heart, genital are most likely overwhelmed by your brain at that stage) or would you rather be with someone that is very compatible with you (no arguments, smooth sailing all the way)? I once read an article saying that, the person you would end up marrying may not be the person you love the most, the reason why you got married is because you feel comfortable being together with him/her and you know that you will live happily ever after without any complications or arguments. So what are we really looking for in a relationship? Are we looking for someone that can give us stability or are we looking for someone that pours us with lots of love but unstable? Obviously, we would want to be in the great lovers and great couples zone. But how often can we really find someone like that? For those who are already in that zone, Well Done and Congratulation!!
For those who do not see yourselves in the great lovers and great couples zone. What does it takes to find that person? I think mate selection is a difficult task, and there are many reasons: each person may pretend to be something he/she isn’t. Or each person may honestly describe him/herself but change later on or even worst each person may change his/her mind about what he/she wants constantly.. etc..etc.
Sometimes I wonder do we use our heart, genitals or our brains in mate selection? We often believe that on one magical day, “it” will happen; we will meet and instantly recognize the right person, hence, we live happily ever after and until death do us apart! How exactly does this notion from movies and novels fit with reality?
And don’t you think love is just such a powerful tool, especially when threatened; it isn't something we can turn on and off. Maybe some of us can't make objective decisions while in love, but I don't believe that is entirely true. We can't eliminate all the craziness of love, but we can learn to be much more realistic by recognizing our denial and our needs or maybe by listening to others' opinions?
Here is something that I found on the internet.There is limited research and very little truly usable knowledge about love. However, there are many beliefs--often contradictory or paradoxical--about love. Examples:
· Love grows after marriage--or--Love leaves after the marriage ceremony.
· People in love are crazy--or--A wise person marries for love.
· You know within minutes or hours if you can love a person--or--Love may develop after you have known each other for months or years.
· Love solves most of life's problems; it's the way to find happiness--or--You can't live with a man/women and you can't live without them.
· Love is nature's trick to insure the species--or--Love and sex are two different things.
· Love is the only thing needed for a good marriage; love conquers all--or--Constant work and many coping skills are needed to maintain a marriage.
· Love is blind; it is an addiction--or--Marriages are made in heaven.
· People in love shouldn't have sex until they are married--or--Sex is the most intense and noble expression of love.
· Love blots out all other interest in other people--or--You can love two people at the same time.
· Love is just between a man and a women--or--Love between two women or two men is exactly the same as between straights.
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